Saturday, August 18, 2012

Disappearing Act

I haven't been posting much lately and I don't want you to think I've disappeared for no good reason.  So I'll share what's been going on...meaning this will be one of the few posts that's more about Me than Maisie!

This year has been tough for me, health-wise.  As I've mentioned, my MS started going crazy a couple months after Maisie and I made the big move from Chicago and it hasn't let up.  I've had two major flare ups thus far.  The first rendered my left arm and hand useless, the second gave me horrible vertigo followed by loss of hearing in one ear.  While there have been major improvements, some symptoms still linger and may be with me forever.  And there's always the fear of another flare up coming on at any time.

I was admitted to the hospital for the vertigo and was so grateful that the owner of Maisie's daycare was willing to come pick her up and also drop me off at the ER.  I was an inpatient for five days (one of which was the 4th of July), and being there without my usual support network of family and friends was very difficult.  Luckily, my brother had already planned a visit and was here for a few days right after I was released.  Hard to say who was happier to see him, me or Maisie.  She made sure to get in as much cuddle time with him as possible.

After my brother left, I was on short term disability for a week.  Although the vertigo was somewhat better once a week of resting at home had passed, I was still too dizzy to drive so I had to hire a driver to take me to/from the office and Maisie back and forth to daycare for a few days.  Two weeks later, I went on a vacation that I'd planned months ago with a group of friends from Chicago.  Even though it meant leaving Maisie again, I really needed to get away and relax...and the gorgeous view of the Atlantic we had in Maine certainly helped!

I will actually be leaving Maisie once again this week, as I am going back to Chicago for a few days.  It will be my first visit home since moving to MA and I'm super excited to see my friends and family.  I am feeling better now, but I know that this unpredictable disease can always surprise me with another episode without warning.  So I'm working really hard to reduce my stress and accept the fact that some things are beyond my control.

Maisie gave me a purpose when I felt helpless and hopeless.  There were days when I might not have gotten out of bed if I didn't have to feed her or let her out in the yard.  She kissed me when I was sad, snuggled up to me when I was afraid and stayed close to me when I couldn't do much more than wait for my brain to heal itself.  I value her companionship now even more than I did before.

"is this close enough?  want me closer?"

p.s.  for more frequent Maisie updates and pics, please "like" our Facebook page if you haven't yet!


Dog Pack Snacks said...

Hoping that you continue to feel better. There is no better nurse than the ones with four paws and a wet nose.

sprinkles said...

I'm so sorry you've have had to go through this. I know Maisie is an excellent nurse and will get you back to feeling even better in no time at all.

Enjoy your visit home.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about your health stuff. :( I wish there was something I could do to help.

I am glad Maisie has a good daycare with compassionate people to help you out when you need it - and of course, Maisie is a fantastic nursemaid! :)

Just come back to the blog when you're feeling better. We'll be here when you're back.